There ain't no reason why friends are this way

God I love break. Over the past couple years, I've had spare little time to spend with my good friends from high school. I usually get a couple weekends in the fall, 4-5 weeks over winter break, a couple weekends in the spring, and maybe 2-3 weeks in the summer. Every time I come home it's non-stop fun with the tightest group of friends I have. After an entire weekend of playing Rock Band and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, my friends had to go back to school while I get to stay home during break (my school is so gay with having spring break a week after all my friends have their breaks). These are the people whom I know I connect with, having 6-7 years of foundation for our friendships. Not to say that I don't have people like that at college, it's just that they're a little more dispersed and not part of a core group like my friends from HS.

One of these friends, Judd, said something to me that made me think a lot. A lot of people probably don't respect Judd as much as he deserves, mostly because he acts like a fool most of the time, but a lot of people tend to think that's all he is: a fool. But all the people who really know him know that he's a deep thinker and a good friend. We were talking in my basement (while playing ping pong, cause that's when we do our best thinking), when we started talking about the friends we have at college. Judd said he didn't have a lot of good friends at college, mostly because he felt like they didn't make a concerted effort to involve him in activities. In his words, "Why should I always be the one calling them? Why can't they call me once in a while?" That got me thinking. Why is it that we feel offended when we are constantly extending the hand of friendship, and those around us are merely accepting and never taking the initiative themselves? In the past, I've felt very similar sentiments to Judd's, and in a way I sort of agree with him. I hated being taken advantage of, being used, being taken for granted, all those things. Yet, what is the solution?

Do we simply stop contacting these people? Who is the loser in that situation? If I never contact someone, and subsequently never hang out with them, I am the one who loses out. This is because they never thought about me in the first place; it's not as if they're going to miss hanging out with me. It's only me who's going to be missing the fun times I have with them when I do call them. Sure, maybe they're not true friends, but then again, not every friend I have is required to be a true friend. It's ok to have some friends whom I just hang out with, who aren't good friends. Yes I'm putting myself out there, leaving myself open to hurt and betrayal. And yes, they are the ones who are at fault for such a lack of courtesy. But I'm willing to leave myself open to that. If anything, I can simply think of it as me leeching some fun from them. If you look at it that way, it's actually me being selfish and not them.

I kind of agree with Judd; it sucks that some people are like this and are so careless with their thoughts and actions that they don't even take the time to consider those around them. There's really no reason why people should act this way. But, that's how it'll always be. And that makes a beautiful segway into "Ain't No Reason" by Brett Dennen.